untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

grapfruit:

why doesn’t anyone appreciate my sarcasm and bitterness as much as i do

spermbanker:

date me to disappoint your parents

snorlaxatives:

*sits down next to you and sympathetically looks into your eyes* i don’t care

cokeproblem:

raise your hand if you’re a lil bit of an asshole

fffcuk:

what doesn’t kill you fucks you up mentally and affects your ability to have stable relationships with other human beings